Writing is like trying to figure out a complex math problem or science equation for me; it takes time and a lot of thinking. It does not come easy and it does not feel very “natural.” Each time I start a writing project, I feel anxious and nervous. It may take several minutes or maybe hours just to be able to fill a paper with coherent thoughts. Many times, I will erase or delete more words than I actually leave on the paper. It is something that can bring terror to my eyes when I start thinking of how in the world I’m going to fill four, five, even six pages of meaningful information on any particular subject.
I know this may seem dumb, even silly to some people, but the fear of writing something really bad makes me want to hide my face every time I turn in a paper. Thank goodness for online classes. It helps knowing that I do not have to face a class full of students who may think I am a very poor writer. This really helps me make it through another paper.
Once I have filled a paper with something that makes sense, I usually go back and re-read again and again until I feel comfortable with the content. If I cannot make sense of anything I have written, then I start all over. Usually, after I have one page filled, I cannot stop because I am afraid the words will stop flowing. If I can finish a small paper in one setting, I feel that I have accomplished something good, maybe not great, but at least something worth reading.
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